Talking About Urns and Caskets

Things To Think About When Setting Up The Order Of A Funeral Service

One of the details you'll need to check off your to-do list, when you're pre-planning your funeral service, is to determine the ideal order of how things will proceed. The funeral director overseeing the service will be able to provide assistance in this matter, but you can get started with developing the order of the proceedings, and check with the director, if you have any questions. There's no universally right way to approach this task, and pre-planning your service gives you the freedom to ensure things flow exactly as you want them. Here are a few things to evaluate, as you put the order of the service together.

Alternate Between Elements

It can be effective to set up your funeral service so it alternates between listening to one speaker and group involvement. This approach means people don't have to sit listening for prolonged stretches, but they also don't have to be involved extensively, if they want a break for quiet reflection. For example, you may have a religious leader or the funeral director begin by talking about you, and then everyone might say a prayer together. Next, there might be a video production about your life, and then everyone may sing a hymn together.

Allow Time For Post-Eulogy Response

Sometimes, it can be nice for people to share a few words about you and your life. One way to develop the order for your service is to have this part of the service take place after the eulogy. For example, once the person you've chosen for the eulogy delivers his or her remarks, people who want to share a remembrance can volunteer to speak. For a small service, they can likely do so standing at their seat; for a larger one, approaching the microphone at the front of the room is a good idea.

Seek Feedback From Loved Ones

While you have final say over the order of your funeral service, you may want to consult some close family members. Ask them what elements they want to see in the service. At a time of grief, they'll remember that they played a role in putting together the order of the proceedings, and this can bring them comfort. For example, a family member may suggest a certain song to play on the way out of the funeral service, which might not be something you'd consider yourself.

To plan a funeral in advance ensures the service reflects you and your life. It also saves your family members from making decisions while grieving.